Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
