I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
