I want to stick my p in your. b.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
