First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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