Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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