How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
