This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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