I hate all girls vehemently.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
