I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
