Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
