About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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