he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Randomize
