I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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