if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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