Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
