He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
