who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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