3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
