Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
