all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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