like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
