Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
