im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
