East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
