Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you traded sex for a burrito?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
