I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
