i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
