yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
