his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
