Tell her she can't have a vagina
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
