haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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