Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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