My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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