Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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