Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
