Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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