I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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