Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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