So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
