Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How does it feel to date your dad?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
