Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
