I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
