do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
