Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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