I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
