cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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