If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
