well I can't set my house on fire every night
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Farmville is her only friend.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
