Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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