he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
