Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
