Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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