My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
