obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
